Nov 052010

I didn’t appreciate it then, but I had a rather charmed growing-up, sexually-speaking.

I was blessed with parents who not only—anomaly of the 1970s—weren’t divorced, but who clearly loved, respected and desired each other. While I didn’t always exhibit a full modicum of common sense in my high-school wanderings and associations, I always made it home safely from my adventures, unscathed and just under curfew. And though my experiences were far less frequent and extensive than I might have liked at the time, those I was able to stumble upon were ones where I felt like an active, if slightly-out-of-my-realm agent, fully of my consent and intent and, generally, ones that left me wanting another go and even more as a result.

Happily, my only lingering scars from the time are a perhaps too-easily triggered association of sexual forays with several pop-culture markers of the era. A lingering kiss and the smell of freshly-cut grass can still evoke a momentary thought of Aqua Velva aftershave, while I lost my virginity (for the second time) to the strains of My Sharona and (for the third and, because I decided it was actually pleasurable enough to finally count, real time) shortly after a delightful make-out session enjoyed during The Warriors. (On one of those new-fangled home video players!)

Still, even given the presence of liberal, open-minded parents and a copy of The Joy of Sex at my pilfering reach, I have to wonder how much better I might have fared with Scarleteen at my disposal. Sure, Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret clued me in to the whole period thing, so I wasn’t terribly alarmed when it actually transpired—and I knew all about burgeoning desires from a yellowing copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover found on the top bookshelf.

But how would it have been to be able to post to sympathetic peers and experts the questions I felt too “weird” to bring to my mother? Or to research sexual health worries in a more user-friendly (and less terrifying!) venue than my dad’s Merck Manual? Or even to solicit opinions possibly counter to the wrinkled nose and “ewwww!” provoked in a high school friend by the mere mention of slightly, possibly considering a blow job?

Founded in 1998—sadly, far too late for my formative days—Scarleteen is an independent, grassroots sexuality education and support organization and website.

We want the sexual choices young people make to be well-informed choices. We feel belying judgment, affording respect and furnishing teens with the facts and context they feel they need, whether or not they are or intend to be sexually active, supports them in learning to best make and own their own choices and lives. …Whether Scarleteen is a young person’s only source of sex education, or whether we play but one part, we want to do what we can to provide young people with the accessible sexuality information, support and discussion they want and need now, and may very well benefit from for a lifetime.

Because Scarleteen doesn’t rely on government funding for their existence, they’re able to offer a comprehensive spectrum of information and create a safe, inclusive space for exploration and discovery—one in which abstinence might be one answer, though, pragmatically, not the only prescribed possibility open to discussion.

And also because Scarleteen doesn’t rely on government funding for their existence, they need our support in continuing to advise and to thrive.

As part of Scarleteen’s current blogathon and fundraising drive, I’ll be making a financial contribution today. Please won’t you do the same?!

Lisa Vandever
Co-Founder/Director, CineKink


Aug 282008


The best of this (er) week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #145? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Bush Rides Again: Birth Control Defined as “Abortion”?
“The reason you tweak laws, redefining them or broadening their definitions, is to create the opportunity for a legal climate in which challenges may better succeed.”
First Time For Everything: A Polyamorous Relationship
“The only real trouble with being a triad came from the world around us.”
Sex Work And Compassion: Panty Tree
“I will never feel shame for being a sex worker.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
I Meet the Business End of Citibank’s Anti-Adult Business Policy

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Needs. I has them.
On Feeling June Cleaverish
Saturday Night
Strippers and race
The Sunday Squirt
Under the Covers
Whenever we’re apart…

Sex Humor
Impertinent Question: Do You Name Your Genitals?

BDSM & Fetish
Anatomy of a Mindfuck
Brutal caning punishments for school girls’ filthy behaviour
Caning; La marca del deseo.
Claire Adams Does Some Wonderful Shibari Rigging In This Scene From The Whipped-Pussy Archives
Mz Berlin (Me!) & Madison Young In Bondage Slave Training
Ring Around the Collar
Two school girls in uniform spanked and caned over the bench.
Witch Stories
Whoring Hubby Spanked – F/m Spanking Pix

Sex Advice
Ask Miss Bliss-My Girlfriend’s Using Coke And Lying About It
Controlling the Urge to Ejaculate
How To Pick A Dildo
Pull My Hair, Slap Me Around – A How-To Guide To Rough Sex, Part 1

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Catalina loves Masculinity
It’s been a while – lots of stuff going on!
Satine Phoenix Says, “Save thousands on therapy, go to your reunion!?”
Wax On; Wacks Off

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Fetish Model Toxxxy In Cotton Panties Smearing Jam All Over Herself
FunseXXXtoys Public Baptismal
The Jollie Review For Babeland
Sex on Spout
Sgt Major Makes Jade Marxxx Beg For Pain On Backdoor Bondage
Spanking interview with Thomas S. Roche

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Bedroom Radio #21: Sinclair Sexsmith of
Elaisted is to Corset Photography what Phelps is to Swimming!
Photo Essay

Sex & Politics
The Dilemma of Jefferson: My Dissenting Voice
Friends of Jefferson, Spanking for Justice!

Aug 012008

>It’s summertime and – much to our delight! – they definitely seem to have sex on the brain over at SPOUTBlog!

Just today, there’s a round-up of The 10 Best Masturbation Scenes that will first have you questioning if there’s even that many. Then have you rushing to comment on your favorite glaringly obvious omission. (Um, hello. Secretary?!?)

Beyond that, we’ve been horribly remiss in mentioning the blog’s weekly posts by our provocative friend, Lauren Wissot, who began writing regularly for Spout back in June: “We wanted to call her column ‘Art Films To Jerk Off To,’ but in the end that might be too limiting––after all, who’s to say what qualifies as art?”

Since then, Lauren’s missives on the libidinous in indie and mainstream cinema have touched upon such natural candidates as David Lynch, the S/M classic Maitresse and the Five Unsexiest Movies About Sex: The Breillat Awards(!!). And they’ve incorporated some unlikely subjects as well, from the consideration of Charlie Chaplin as sexy rogue to the BDSM underpinnings of Hitchcock’s Marnie:

She was “always pulling her skirt down over her knees as if there were a national treasure,” Marnie’s lecherous employer-turned-victim Mr. Strutt mutters at the beginning of Hitch’s classic, introducing us to Hedren’s character as a trobbing cock-tease – who, of course, needs to be punished like the naughty little girl she really is deep down inside. Enter Connery’s controlling Master Rutland, immaculately dressed in suit and tie (I love a man in a uniform!), a big bad wolf smile on his face as he eavesdrops on Strutt’s report to the police. Is there any doubt that this is the perfect square-jawed, hairy-chest daddy for the B&D job?

We imagine she does – but we can’t wait to see if Lauren shares our take on The Sound of Music!

Jul 172008

>Rachel Kramer Bussel, whose previous literary offerings, He’s On Top/She’s On Top graced the swag bags for the CineKink kick-off party back in February, has a brand, er, spanking new opus available…Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. And, with her finger ever on the pulse of the latest publishing trends, she’s just put out a trailer for the book:

And if you’re looking for some other hot reading to toss into the beach bag, be sure to check out Tantra for Erotic Empowerment from Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson (CineKink NYC/08) and the very latest on consensual non-monogamy, Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.

Update 7/21: Vimeo removed Rachel’s original trailer, so we’ve replaced our links for the version available on YouTube.

May 172008


The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #132? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
“A bill outlawing the possession of “extreme pornography” is set to become law next week.”

M is for Mine
“You comment on my wetness.”

The Story Behind the Waxing
“I tend to go to people that I trust really know what they are doing when it comes to my pussy.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Keeley Hazell Regrets

Editor’s Choice
The sadistic impulse

More Sugasm Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Being the Receiver…
Desperate boy.
A Parity of Madams and Whores
You say trannyboifag, I say trannyboifag

Sex Work
At Least My Vibrators Don’t Judge Me
Sex Worker Solidarity: Gracie

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob in the showers
Drunk and horny
Flash #1 – Greedy
Two Minutes and 52 Seconds
Unicorn Sighting

Sex & Politics
Um. Pornography is in focus?

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Another Gratuitous Picture Post
Back with HNT!
Half-Nekkid at the Beach
Mirror Mirror
Monica – Drop On Jacuzzy
Pornsaint Kylie Ireland
Strange Sex Fantasies
Teen bobs on Ron Jeremy’s cock
Video: Long Distance Lovemaking

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Catalina loves Melvin Moten, Jr. (An interview with the fetish photographer behind
If You Were a Sex Toy, What Would You Be?
My IMsL 2008 Trip – Part 4
The Sexiest Form You Might Ever Fill Out
Shall We Play A Game?

BDSM & Fetish
Cerebral Trainee Subject: Susan
A day of torment (pt 2)
Dining Table Punishment Spanking
Dionysian Tales
Harmony Rose Is Dominated On The Training Of O
Other World Kingdom visit – Part 4
Submissive Little Darling
The Submissive Male Construct and Nice Guys
Weighty Matters

Sex Advice
A Little Lesson on Figging…
Sex Dates for Parents
Vaginal Fisting: What It Is and How to Do It